Home of the Heart

“Home is where the heart is”, as the saying states.

If that is the case then I have a Heart bigger than an Elephant. Mind you, the heart manifests itself in thoughts generated by the brain. The Heart is really a metaphor of all those things we regard with fondness and affection.

The Senses

So many things are forever etched in the memory that I regard with fondness, affection and satisfaction.

A certain remote coastal campsite in far north east Tasmania which used to be my go to winter recharge place. Always the only person there surrounded by nothing but the sights and sounds of mother nature.

Red Bluff in north west Australia and Whales putting on huge belly flop displays in the bay surrounded by ancient cliffs that amplified nature’s sounds while a perfect left hand point break peeled non-stop for days on end.

On a boat, trout fishing Lake Pedder in Tasmania and taking urgent shelter in a cozy cove as a crazy storm developed. We stayed there overnight and somehow found sleep even though the storm persisted past sleep time and waking up to pin drop silence the next morning.

Unzipped the boat canopy, poked the head out to witness a transformed landscape to snow white winter wonderland from the lake edge through the buttongrass foothills to the Razorback Range with the lake itself a mirror reflection of the mountains surrounding it.

Cannot recall any flower that I have not fallen in love with especially the Banksia’s and Verticordia’s of South west Australia and the complex flowers and their colour of Asiatic Lilly family.

Seasonal fresh leaves of pink to burgundy draped like scarves on the growing tips of Mango trees and deep autumn leaf highlights of Mt Fuji Cherries have both permanently fixed themselves to the visual pleasure memory.

My many ventures into cool temperate and tropical rainforests and always make sure I stop, listen and especially smell the rich organic laden thickness of atmosphere that only these ancient places provide. To look up the trunks towards an almost invisible canopy and being humbled knowing that these trees have been living since and before the times of Leonardo da Vinci.

Batting up my one and only ton (100 runs) in cricket and winning various Premierships as part of a team always brings on a deep love of my team mates and the game itself.

Heart is filled with love of various surfing spots from Coal Point in Tasmania to Cherating in Malaysia. The sound and feel of the waves, the clouds, the ocean and land all combine to forever etch the memory bank in this rush of sound, speed, liquid lush and serenity.

Tasting for the first time mountain spring water at its source in the range behind Hobart Tasmania was truly sensational with that taste never leaving me.

I have the sweetest memories of sweat laden and deeply satisfying exhaustion after colossal nights gyrating at concerts of Simple Minds, Roxy Music, Midnight Oil, Iggy Pop, Dr Feelgood, Dynamic Hepnotics and Rory Gallagher.

In later years Freestyling my way through various electronic music dance events with Break Fest at the Belvoir in Perth being a special place of big tribal love pulsating from every body heaving terrace of the place.

Similarly the Reggae Bar (alas no more) in Bukit Bintang Kuala Lumpur, where busting my dance moves was somehow enjoyed by the crazy loving eclectic bunch that attended.

Heart of Family

Heart of Family is unbounded and rich in essence of mutual unconditional love for Sister and Father.

Dad now 95 and still playing and singing out live that keeps the vitality of many alive and in time! Distance is a tyranny, but our video chats keep the solid bonds of love intact. I sometimes underestimate his sharpness of wit and political observation at my peril!

Sister, always nurturing the mind through exploring the quality and rich texture of existence that manifests in her garden of absolute delight, music from classical to reggae, reading materials and various artworks including her photos that challenge concepts and perception of the visual through the camera lens.

Her deep seated love of the best in food and beverage is on full display on those rare occasions I am able to visit.

The Heart of the deep soul is firmly wrapped around the birth of my children and watching them evolve into the wonderful adults they are now.

Mind you, this very same all encompassing heart was deeply fractured with the death of our two and half year old son. Still some thirty three years later the repair process goes on. But, nothing will ever remove the deep love for him.

In later years, unexpected and unrelenting passion of heart and mind resulted in a second marriage after many years of solo happiness. Am still stunned at the heart having the capacity to dive so deep into this fresh well of love that included seven mostly young adult step children.

The Heart did exactly that without any forethought. Just go with the flow? You betcha!

My daughter’s three children started arriving on the planet in 2020. It is a long distance relationship separated by land and ocean, but has my love of them been diminished by distance? I only had to meet them once for them to be enveloped in my heart forever.

Heart of the Matter

Originally, this piece started with the concept of home is where the heart is. I was questioning where exactly is this home? Here in Malaysia with my big love Shakirah? In Perth West Australia where Alice, Sam and grandkids Millie, Max and Florence are? Tasmania, my birthplace and home to Dad Les and sister Michele? Dear friends Paul and Jim at opposite ends of Australia and a scattering of others across the globe all have a part of my loving heart.

The more I mulled over this the more it felt as if the heart had fractured and scattered throughout my existence here there and everywhere.

Thoughts of everywhere wandered to places I’ve been, the emotions felt and knowledge gained through the experience. It led to the harsh lessons of pain both physical and mental with the associated heartbreak. Pleasure and pain are wrapped up in the heart, the ying and yang of life and what we take out of our time spent.

It was a dark place I descended to some weeks ago contemplating what I saw then as a deeply fractured heart and fearing the next day waking to those thoughts over and over again. It was mainly family focused across our disparate geographical locations. Resolution could not be seen with the heavy blanket of depression smothering any concept of lightness and pleasure of being.

During this time an injury (a repeat of an old one) flared up badly during a game of cricket and with it sadly going to thoughts of retirement from the game. The injury intruded into my ability to still surf with the question being what is there left in life if I could not do either? Surfing is and has always been the number one when it comes to soul satisfaction.

The mind callously dragged out of the archives an old desperate and dark movie – “They shoot Horses don’t they.” Dark days indeed spent mulling the human condition and connections fractured by distance while contemplating the future of my sporting pursuits and still dealing with the glute to hamstring injury. Yep, my entire existence had come to be a real pain in the butt cheeks, especially the left one.

It is the innocuous things that sometimes jerk the soul into action and in this case was the harvesting of eggplant, limes and some chilis in the garden. That simple pleasure of grow your own through to putting it on the table reminded me of Dad’s and the sister’s fruit and vegetable growing and the gourmet delights that resulted.

Thoughts went to the times of previously dealing with glute injury recovery, sometimes far more serious than now. The trusty Physio has been having her way again and I have improved to the extent of being able to get back out in the waves again. Am not 100%, but not far off and will be putting the hand up for cricket again as the heartfelt passion has not diminished.

A simple message from my daughter – “how are you Dad” was enough for the mind to reflect back to four short months ago of hanging out at her place for a few days. Yes family and friends are scattered, but the odd message or video call here and there is a vast improvement on the old days of communication by letter or horrendous cost of long distance phone calls. Heck, airfares are about half the cost of what they were thirty years ago.

Blankets of darkness and doom have now lifted and writing this piece has been an integral part of that process.

Almost sixty seven years on the planet to look back to the heart of memories with most of pleasure and a minority of pain which provides a base to rise above and to appreciate that existence. A look to the now and this writing stuff is a cathritic experience not to be denied and certainly is valued.

The future? The immediate guides me to a decent swell forecast in a weeks time and perhaps the last swell of our short Malaysian surf season. That is where I will be. Cricket? Some games coming up in April and will do whatever I can to get the body ready. Family? Never really far away even if distance separates us.

After that? Just let the now take care of itself and the future will be what it will be while the heart beats on and the memory accumulates more gems of sight, sound, smell and heart of the soul.

“And the Beat goes on, and the beat goes on, drums keep pounding rhythm to the brain ….” (Sonny and Cher)